I wanted to call this post, ‘Things I Recently Got Rid of in My Shameful Spring Cleaning’ aka ‘Tales from a Potential Hoarder’ aka ‘Not really I’m just sentimental’ aka ‘That’s what all junior hoarders say’ aka ‘I had a garage sale to prove that theory wrong’ aka ‘storin’ up treasures in heaven, ya’ll’ aka ‘From maximalist to minimalist: a love story.’
Then I wanted to confess the things I found whilst preparing for said garage sale (ahem, leather CD booklet with three burned copies of Dave Matthews albums and adult corn on the cob costume (keep pile))
And then I realized the real gold mine story in all of this was not those details, or the fact that Clare wore a fanny pack, or the fact that I overcame my fear of bartering, but it was the story of our two, old TVs.
One, my TV from senior year of college. It looked like this. Two, the slightly newer one we used to have in our living room (Note: we don’t care about electronics or have cable so how could I be a hoarder? Also, yes, we are better than you.) Also, by slightly newer I mean barely newer.
So, shocking absolutely no one, they did not sell (although at $5 and $15 respectively, I think they were a steal.)
And since we are –as I mentioned before–not hoarders, we put them outside with a sign that said “Free TVs–they work” which felt like the kind of thing where if you have to say it works, then you’ve already kinda lost your credibility. But there they were on the side o’ the road awaiting new owners when not thirty minutes later it started to rain. And we should’ve gone to get them, I guess. But I’ll say this in defense of my laziness: if any TVs could withstand the rain (and hail) that afternoon it’d be those two. They were possibly original members of the cast of “The Brave Little Toaster.”
But ya know what? We will never know if they survived the storm. Because later that afternoon they were both gone.
I know I should feel bad about this and I thought about sending an anonymous apology tweet, but maybe, just maybe they don’t make TVs like they used to and someone is happily watching local, non-HD, un-flat screened television without a remote control and loving every minute of it.
Maybe.
