no, we’ll call you…

Yesterday I did my very first voice over (or as the pros/me call it: V.O.) gig. One of my very favorite strategists/developers Josh Horton hired me to write the script for a PSA/info-graphic/animated video for his nonprofit client and then hired me to be the voice as well! As you can see by the picture above I was not excited at all. And since we did the recording in my friend Seth’s studio, I was extra obnoxious. So here are the reasons I will not ever get hired back:

• I referred to myself exclusively as “the talent”
• Or as a ‘double threat’ aka writing/acting…I dance too they just don’t know it yet.
• I made Josh take several pictures of me “in action” in the sound booth. One of them I called my Whitney Houston. #toosoon.
• I kept reverting to my Kristen Wiig impression and saying, “Don’t make me speeeeaaaak.”
• I wore jean shorts.
• I did the least studio-cool thing ever in my pic: the thumbs up
• 3 Morgan Freeman references
• I asked why there weren’t lines of cocaine on the baby grand.
• I kept yelling, “I’m gonna be a STAR” in my Dick Tracy voice.

I think it’s safe to say my VO career is over before it began. BUT the video is going to be awesome. And when it comes out I’m updating my twitter bio to include, “vocal actress, or “narrator.”

life verse.

**I do not own that first image. Obviously I was not around in the 20′s to snap this awesome photo. But I may recreate it someday just so I can sell this poster without being sued. Also, for the physical challenge.

The Client Serenity Prayer (Again)

and

My brother Jonathan  (@rushstache) designed these pretty babies. One step closer to world domination by the Rushes. Except that one of us says stuff like ‘pretty babies’ on the internet.

A Prayer, for Clients.

God grant me the the serenity to accept the things the client wants changed,

The courage to fight for my vision,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

two free jokes on a wednesday

compelling title, eh?

But just like I gave you my sneeze joke a few weeks ago (just realized that calling it a ‘sneeze joke’ makes it sound entirely unfunny) here are two more of my fav one-liners for your week’s worth of wit. #Aliteration.

1. “Easy for you to say.”

Any time someone stumbles over their words or butchers the pronunciation of something or is just generally struggling with their native American tongue, throw this one out there. It’ll be a hit.

2. “That was my nickname in high school.”

This is one of those that you kind of just have to feel out there to use. But it is deep and wide and beautiful and you will have some pretty good laughs if you use it right.

godspeed you funny freaks.

LR

spare ideas i found in my iphone notes

I have a lot of ideas. In fact, I talk often to my people (don’t look at me like that, what do you call your friends?) about how I’m waiting for the day when I get paid the big bux for my ideas. In the meantime, I will continue to save my Sacageweas and jot down obscure things in my phone and wait for the perfect moment to unleash the tagline/slogan/nail polish name/Onion headline/ad.

A glimpse into my brain from last week. And if you are a big wig reading this, call me.

• You Had Me at Jello (to Bill Cosby, if you’re reading this…)
• Book Smart (for a booking agency or travel agency)
• Europe Next (no idea. sports bar? Euro batting cages? Travel agency? Why are all of my ideas for a service that is extinct?)
• Hertz So Good (for, duh, Hertz)
• Comfort and Soy (baby formula?)
• Tuna Inn (sushi + DJ booth +B&B)**

LR

Launch: Pad

No, I’m not here to talk about that obscure character from Darkwing Duck (or AM I?!)

Ok, I’m not. I’m here to talk about something even MORE exciting. And it involves getting your paws on designer throw pillows and duvets and drapes.

Remember my favorite job of last year where I got to name a billion fabrics things like, “Midsummer Night’s Seam,” “Sultan Pepper,” “Avante Garden,” and “Poppy Love” ?

Well that start-up–Loom Decor–is launching TODAY!

Well, for exclusive big timers like those with the access code, that is.

And lucky for you, I know somebody on the inside (and that person is myself) with the access code so that you can start shopping and being your own interior decorator with stunning designer fabrics that you can see come to life (bed, drapery, pillows, oh my!) on their virtual “fitting room.”

Ack, right?!

So here is the acces code to get into the VIP club/site: LOVELOOM

And here are more details about the launch (pad).

And here is a virtual high five. From my heart to yours.

CONGRATS to Ashley, Jessa, and Nichole. Loom is one step closer to global domination (taken from their mission statement.)

XO,

LR

p.s. if you haven’t seen the launch video (which I so handily shot some images for) watch it here and find the hidden promo code for big time, big timer savings.

p.p.s. Tell your friends.

A day in the life

I have great jobs.

I really do. I dare my boss(es) to play undercover boss and discover absolutely nothing. They’re all that great**.

Also, I get to work in my pajamas, and get paid to come up with ridiculous puns, campaigns and wordplays. I call that a win, win, win situation (don’t check my math on that.)

For the last few months, I’ve been spending my mornings writing for Living Social, and recently my friends Annie and Raleigh got hired too.(Exclamation point! Cymbols! Applause-o-meter!) So now we get to swap trade secrets and play tricks on the boss, and plan the President’s Day mixer (ya know, normal co-worker stuff.) And in light of this, I thought it might be mighty nice to share a few of my favorite things from this work week.

Lines someone paid us actual dollars to write:

• For a sushi restaurant: “So catch this deal or risk tempura-ry insanity…”
• For a winter wonderland experience: “So Russian down and don’t luge out on all the fun.”  #winterolympics2014anybody?
• For pest control: “Make sure you’re the only creeper in your crawlspace.”

Talk about makin somethin’ outta nothin!

**This one goes out to you, Josh Horton, Meggie Longo, Secret Penguin, and Ramsey Mohsen, and all the Loom girls.

Happy day to you and yours,
LR

I Do My Best Work at Night and Other Things I Should Say Differently.

I know you’re sick of me saying it all the time but man I’m glad I’m not a coal miner or a night nurse.

I only say this (on repeat, I know) because I’m really glad I don’t do all of my work at night.

Writing, that is.

Because I will tell you somethin: when I’m in the middle of reading a funny memoir, or browsing blogs, I seem to come up with what I think at the time are BRILLIANT ideas for books, blogs, companies (for ex: Walleye-Outta, When in Rum, My So Called Wife) that I think are gonna change the world/my life.

And then I wake up and look back at my notes and cannot see the aforementioned brilliance I so strongly felt in the wee hours of midnight to 1 am.

Let’s just say I thought I had NAILED my maid of honor speech (for my sister’s wedding next August) one night and upon looking back I wanted to pull an Inspector Gadget (or Brad Pitt, come to think of it) and burn after reading.

So again, it’s really good I don’t have night shifts that require me to submit my very best when the sun is down.

I imagine that’s how Two and a Half Men got pitched/picked up. And Lord knows we don’t need more in the world like that.

LR

7 bad ideas

Ever write yourself inspiration notes and upon later reflection have zero idea what you were telling yourself to do/remember, or in my case, write about?

Me either. Ok yes I do.

And for your browsing pleasure, here are 7 notes I jotted down in my phone’s ‘blog’ folder that I have no clue where I was going with. And yes, I will probably still write about them someday. or tomorrow:

• Dust orange. 
• That’s it. I just wrote dust orange. What??
• Explaining God and Satan like Rachel Zoe.
• Whatever it was I thought I had stumbled upon sounds like a bad idea in hindsight.
• Cool stories to tell at parties.
• Like I need help with that. Did you know that my name means ‘refreshing one’? Or that my mom owns a revolver? See? Small talk goddess.
• Country music punchlines
• They do all kinda lead up to a punchline, huh? I’m keeping this one.
• Fancy a french?
• Ummm?
• Left hand man
• The right hand man’s understudy?
• When in chrome
• Google should pay more attention to me.