Dear Eye Twitch
Dearest Incessant Eye Twitch,
Um hey. It’s me. First off I just wanna start off by saying something:
Not cool, Eye, not cool.
I get it, I’ve been a little stressed lately. Perhaps I’ve even been a little rushed (please resist the urge to make a pun on my name here). But cut me some slack.
There’s really no need to stick around for 4 days and remind me every 5 minutes that somewhere in the deep recesses of my soul I am feeling anxious.
If you don’t cut it out soon you’re going to become my trademark and as the new kid in town I need as much help as I can get.
So, like, back off. And I do mean that in the harshest way possible.
In fact, you may be the reason the tow truck guy thought I was flirting with him. So thanks for that.
All in all I think our time together is up. So this is goodbye. Peace out and thanks for nothing.
But seriously, leave.
Sincerely,
Lyndsay
Listening to: Andy singing falsetto along to Justin Bieber
On my mind: God’s good. Always.
2 Comments to “Dear Eye Twitch”
Leave a Reply
you MUST elaborate about towtruckguy….
So Lyndsay, I have the same problem when I get stressed. In honor of my eye twitch, I rewrote the lyrics to “The Bitch is Back” by Elton John and Bernie Taupin. Enjoy, and sing with relish whenever you get the twitch!
It’s a twitch, It’s a twitch
Oh the twitch is back
In my left eye, as a matter of fact
It can twitch, it can twitch
`cause I’m more stressed than you
Its the way that I groove
The thing that I do… ohhhh
Thank you, Elton John.