::91 What’s up with THAT?
I feel like 76% of the people I know were born in August.
::90 Then it’s just kinda sad.
It’s kinda cool and independent and “whatevs” to go to a movie by yourself. Not so when you go by yourself on crutches.
::89 Phew
It’s a good thing being melancholy doesn’t actually involve melon.
::88 Science at its best.
I read today that Harvard conducted a study that proved that early risers actually do get the worm. These results came to the shock of absolutely no one anywhere.
::87 Sometimes.
That guy sings “Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.” but someone should tell him that sometimes goodbye means ‘lets take a break and pray about our relationship and in the meanwhile I’m going to date the waitress from our favorite restaurant.’
::86 Added bonus: You Appear Mysterious.
A good way to keep people from asking you questions is to constantly respond with, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
::85 Worked for Cinderella.
Have they figured out a way to train birds and mice pull back your blinds and make your bed?
::84 Or So I Hear…
Chances are if you jump a gate to break into a pool after hours you will land wrong and break three bones in your foot.
::83 My Gramps’ Answering Machine
“To date the dogs have only been trained to text message so please leave a message after the beep and I will call you back”
::82 I want a refund
All I have learned so far from the sleep cycle app is that i dream a lot.
